yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
