he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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