I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You left your phone here
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