Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
