oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
