real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
