Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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