I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
