OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
your like the ambassador to my penis.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
