I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
