HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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