no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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