I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
