he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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