you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
