my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
