The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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