i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
