just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
