just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
