My liver just broke up with me...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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