i think my tv is drunk
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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