I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Nicole vs. Life
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
