yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
