So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
