I CAN MOONWALK!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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