If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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