he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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