Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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