What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
