"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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