perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
