My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
