I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
