Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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