so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
