Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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