Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
