well I can't set my house on fire every night
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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