I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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