I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
this hospital has no fireball
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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