i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
my poor anus
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
