so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
