i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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