moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
