the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
