What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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