do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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