"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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