He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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