I hate all girls vehemently.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
