All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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