You work out of a Hotel?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
