My friends, they love my intelligence
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
