Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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